Painting A New Room T-Shirts

"Would that be 'white white' or a 'grey white' or 'white with a touch of lemon white'?"

Domestic Superheroes!!

"Boil, toil and trouble, I wish I'd never started this risotto."

"You haven't got dyslexia- the instructions are in polish."

'Maybe we should have gone for a pommel horse.'

"The kids love it, and it's saved my marriage."

'I couldn't stand the heat, so I got out of the kitchen.'

'Make sure you pretend to water it.'

"In my house, 'dirty dancing' means it's time to mop the floor."

'The plumber said he can't come right now, but promised to put us on his 'wading list'. Cute, huh?'

Painting by the numbers for adults

'Is that the only wallpaper you could find?!'

Maybe I should have measured my garden before going shopping....

'Good news. I found where the termites have been living.'

It's a male thing - I saw a toaster with power assist, and I bought it.

"Man's best friends."

"I can't wait for vacation - I'm going to go sun myself in a south-facing window."

"I'm thinking of turning this home office into a man-cubicle."

Painting the Ceiling

"You don't think it's too ungapatchka?"

Schubert's Unfinished Basement

'Homepage Sweet Homepage'

"Something went wrong after you inserted tab A into slot B."

'They make remarkably clean pets.'

'Esther, is it possible, just possible mind you, that your green thumb has gone berserk?'

"Well, yes, it's not what you would call a practical nest, but my wife insisted on using an architect..."

"We're looking for something for our panic room."

Housewife feeding her washing machine with a brief.

'We've knocked out the interior walls to improve our home Wi-Fi coverage.'

'Come on, you can help me to choose some lovely wallpaper.'

"I believe I have just reached a whole new level of cozy."

Home Sweet Home

A man is living in small box apartment trying to read a book, but is surrounded by people engaging in noisy activities.

"I sensed you needed my help. I’m Saint &@!#%&!!, the patron saint of cursing."

Four Common Lampshade Mistakes and How To Avoid Them.