Furnishing A New Apartment Pillows

"I see it's a f***ing good mattress but is it a good f***ing mattress?"

"Now, I'm ready for summer."

"You haven't got dyslexia- the instructions are in polish."

"It looks like our house got sick and threw up the attic."

"In my house, 'dirty dancing' means it's time to mop the floor."

"The woman on the fire escape who acted like it was a balcony"

A man sees a leak in his ceiling and drills a hole in the floor under leak to by pass his apartment.

"We're looking for something for our panic room."

A man is living in small box apartment trying to read a book, but is surrounded by people engaging in noisy activities.

"Flat pack furniture is my passion. It's just a shame I haven't the space to assemble it."

I'm looking forward tot he day we can afford some real statues for this place.

'Darn those neighbors. A cookie's missing.'

'It's just some Pour 'n' Serve, Stir 'n' Blend, Bake 'n' Slice, Mix 'n' Broil and Chop 'n' Simmer.'

"WOW...this 50.1 theatre sound system makes you feel you're actually in the movie!"

"I thought we'd eat out on the patio for a change."

Shakespeare Street

Fish-tank Skyscraper.

"You'll love this model, sir! You won't have to miss any of the sports action when you go for a beer!"

It's not considered drinking alone if the cat is at home.

'and then stand in dish for two hours.'

'It's a giant inkblot on loan from the psychiatrist who owns the unit next door.'

Man and woman buying furniture.

"Time like these make me wish we had sprung for that apartment with a park view."

'Honey, the neighbors have persuaded me to stop coming out into the hallway every morning to play 'reveille'!'

"I rented out the basement."

'We know you have a cat.'

"What should I wear to the living room today?"

"We've decided to convert the dungeon into studio apartments, so kill all the prisoners."

"This condo includes free access to fitness facilities...7 flights of stairs."

Dog thumping tail on floor, man below thumping ceiling with broom.

'Well, the rent is a bit more expensive than usual because there are only 1 327 482 other tenants...'

'No it's still not fixed'

"The board is going to have to talk to 5-G again."

'And here we have the half bathroom.'