Decorating A New Home Pillows

"We're looking for something for our panic room."

I'm looking forward tot he day we can afford some real statues for this place.

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

Let's get organized

Domestic Superheroes!!

"He's got no clue how easy he has it compared to his ancestors."

"Boil, toil and trouble, I wish I'd never started this risotto."

Barbequer wears apron with 'Beer in -beer out' slogan.

LAY ZEE FUK

Lady of the Cake.

"You haven't got dyslexia- the instructions are in polish."

'Maybe we should have gone for a pommel horse.'

"Maybe we should cut back on those lawn catalogues."

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

"The kids love it, and it's saved my marriage."

'I couldn't stand the heat, so I got out of the kitchen.'

The wonderful world of cheese.

"Great cruise except the zip lining got flooded."

'Make sure you pretend to water it.'

'Honey, where's my cell phone?'

'Fine stencilling. But have you never thought - Tit Willow, Tit Willow, Tit Willow?'

'The plumber said he can't come right now, but promised to put us on his 'wading list'. Cute, huh?'

Painting by the numbers for adults

'Is that the only wallpaper you could find?!'

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

Maybe I should have measured my garden before going shopping....

Gardener

'Good news. I found where the termites have been living.'

It's a male thing - I saw a toaster with power assist, and I bought it.

"Don't worry - I'm here for the television."

Allotment

Do you mind if we stop calling this a "starter house" now?

"And this is our media room."

'I used to do that, but it just grows again.'

Second hand furniture.