Redecorating Home Pillows

"My feng-shui consultant placed Harold in the closet."

"I've never seen a home this green, Mr. Edmund. As far as I can see, the paint's not flaking, your house is pollinating."

"Hmm, I'm not sure... let me see it in the corner again."

"Do you have any caffeine free coffee tables?"

Let's get organized

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

Cocktails on the verandah.

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

Santa Claus's Mail

"Maybe we should cut back on those lawn catalogues."

'Make sure you pretend to water it.'

'Fine stencilling. But have you never thought - Tit Willow, Tit Willow, Tit Willow?'

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

'You say 'dead.' I say 'low maintenance.''

Painting by the numbers for adults

Dog Hunting Trophies.

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

Maybe I should have measured my garden before going shopping....

'Is that the only wallpaper you could find?!'

"I finally found a use for that old home repair book..."

"I decided to go all out on the house decorations this year."

'These elves sure are helpful around the house.'

"All in favor of destroying the throw pillow, raise your paw."

'Santa recalled thousands of toys ― he delivered them to kids who're in fact naughty.'

Christmas Tree

Why it's bad when home owners change their minds about the bathroom's location late in a building project.

Christmas tree with wadded up lights.

Happy Easter

"Make yourself comfortable on my new decorative throw rocks."

Painting the Ceiling

Christmas in the Fish Bowl

"Yes, I know they fit, it's just not what I pictured for a three car garage!"

"You don't think it's too ungapatchka?"

Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

Piranhaclaus