New Bedroom Pillows

'Neat photo Lucy, I'll put it up in my room... Do you have any drawing pins?'

"Now, I'm ready for summer."

Late night teddy reading

"Did you sleep awkwardly again?"

"First I drink, then I barbecue — that's my secret."

A man sees a leak in his ceiling and drills a hole in the floor under leak to by pass his apartment.

'At lone at last.'

'Never mind about buying that trampoline. I love your new bed!'

Man finishing painting through flap in door.

Newfangled contraceptions phobia: 'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

"Can we get a bigger pool to accommodate all my floats?"

"When the researcher said we were going to a gated community, I had no idea what he meant."

'Beware you don't trip over him!'

"It just seems to me, Howard, that you're missing the whole point of having a terrace in the city."

Woman crushed under satin sheets.

'Is your cap on tight? We don't want any more accidents in the bed, do we?'

"My parents call it a blanket hanging from my ceiling. I call it a giant privacy filter."

Football addict

'Gravity wins - again.'

'That's what I call a boomerang sale. His wife takes one look and back it comes.'

"It's not much, but we've made it our own living hell."

"Decide who you are, Wanona, before you buy sheets."

The trouble with memory foam beds.

'Since we got this round bed, I've been waking up dizzy every morning!'

'Now we've had our loft changed into a bedroom, the vicar's preaching to the converted.'

'Mom, I no longer need a night light.'

'Nice decorating. I like the clothes and toys everywhere...and the half eaten sandwich really ties it all together!'

Memory Foam Mattress.

"What?" "I SAID TURN THE MUSIC DOWN!"

"Don't worry son. We're going to get you the best money that medicine can buy."

"When your memory foam mattress forgets."