New Bedroom Gifts

'Neat photo Lucy, I'll put it up in my room... Do you have any drawing pins?'

"Now, I'm ready for summer."

Late night teddy reading

"Did you sleep awkwardly again?"

"First I drink, then I barbecue — that's my secret."

A man sees a leak in his ceiling and drills a hole in the floor under leak to by pass his apartment.

'At lone at last.'

'Never mind about buying that trampoline. I love your new bed!'

The bluebird of happiness couldn't make it. I'm the finch of eh, I can't complain.

Man finishing painting through flap in door.

'Cleanliness is next to 'clean room' in the dictionary. Look it up.'

"When the researcher said we were going to a gated community, I had no idea what he meant."

Newfangled contraceptions phobia: 'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

"Can we get a bigger pool to accommodate all my floats?"

Alien characters on boy's wallpaper come to life to play with him.

'Beware you don't trip over him!'

"It just seems to me, Howard, that you're missing the whole point of having a terrace in the city."

Woman crushed under satin sheets.

'Is your cap on tight? We don't want any more accidents in the bed, do we?'

Bank. Moving Co. Joe got an apartment above the bank. He moved his things in today. Now he can say his "assets are over ten million dollars"!

"My parents call it a blanket hanging from my ceiling. I call it a giant privacy filter."

'Gravity wins - again.'

Football addict

'Mom, I no longer need a night light.'

"Decide who you are, Wanona, before you buy sheets."

The trouble with memory foam beds.

'Since we got this round bed, I've been waking up dizzy every morning!'

'That's what I call a boomerang sale. His wife takes one look and back it comes.'

'Now we've had our loft changed into a bedroom, the vicar's preaching to the converted.'

"It's not much, but we've made it our own living hell."

"What?" "I SAID TURN THE MUSIC DOWN!"

'Nice decorating. I like the clothes and toys everywhere...and the half eaten sandwich really ties it all together!'

Memory Foam Mattress.

"I'm getting real sick of picking up your laundry, Adam."

"When your memory foam mattress forgets."