Renovating Bedroom Gifts

Memory Foam Mattress.

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

"You haven't got dyslexia- the instructions are in polish."

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

'Good news. I found where the termites have been living.'

"I may not know much about art, but I do know what's suitable for framing."

"Too bright."

'Don't worry. They say the first 24 months of living in a house during remodeling are the hardest.'

'Never mind about buying that trampoline. I love your new bed!'

Non-Drip ?

"Someday, these will be installed in every home and business that wants to seem artsy."

'We want it painted the colour of money!'

"No monsters, but there's a tear in the carpeting and I see hardwood!"

Man finishing painting through flap in door.

"I thought we'd eat out on the patio for a change."

"I'm bored - let's buy a house in the country that has lots of problems."

' ... and this is the half bath.'

'The kids just love doing paint by numbers.'

'Gerald was stripping some old wallpaper, and there it was - Leonard Da Vinci's lost fresco ‘The Battle of Anghiari'.'

'Ever thought of having the place re-carpeted?'

'I think I've finally found a fixer-upper in your price range.'

Cutaway view of house undergoing renovation

Newfangled contraceptions phobia: 'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

Man and woman buying furniture.

Couch and Potato

DIY enthusiasts find a time portal behind their old wallpaper

'The hard hats? In case of falling interest rates.'

'Ooh, hey...real hardwood floors!'

"We want it to look lived in, but not necessarily by us."

Painting

'Great to see the ol' museum is finally getting a face-lift.' An old building getting a medical face-lift

"I'll never understand wallpaper."

'I wasn't to know it's a live shell officer, we've been using it as a door-stop for years!'