Bedrooms Gifts

Introducing the Tofuton

'Gravity wins - again.'

"Did you sleep awkwardly again?"

Late night teddy reading

"Wow, these slippers are really warm!"

"This stool shall pass."

'At lone at last.'

"Good evening, Susan. We've decided it's time you get your own bed."

The bluebird of happiness couldn't make it. I'm the finch of eh, I can't complain.

"John, wake up, I think the mattress has stopped breathing."

SWAT Team (going in to catch a fly).

"I think I might go outside. My fresh air app is glitchy today."

"These songbirds every morning at five A.M. would be really annoying if they weren't so damn talented."

"Let's go to sleep so that when we wake up today will be tomorrow."

'Is your cap on tight? We don't want any more accidents in the bed, do we?'

'We'll take it!'

WC problem.

"No monsters under this bed! After I cleaned there's no room."

Biting Slippers.

"They're exactly the same, except in Hell you have to put on your own duvet cover."

'Oh, no! The monster under my bed is my brother!'

The trouble with memory foam beds.

'Since we got this round bed, I've been waking up dizzy every morning!'

"Decide who you are, Wanona, before you buy sheets."

'Neat photo Lucy, I'll put it up in my room... Do you have any drawing pins?'

"Dang it."

'How damp is this place? Let me put it this way: I use mold and mildew remover as a skin care product.'

Father cuts the legs off of bed to solve the 'monster under the bed problem.'

"Are we there yet?"

S&M Lovers, "Not tonight dear... I haven't got a headache."

"Tonight, I get the closet. I was under the bed last night and my back is killing me!"

Bug Bungy Jumping.

"Normally I wouldn't take any notice of all these ads on how to improve my performance in the bedroom..."

"Don't worry son. We're going to get you the best money that medicine can buy."

(No caption. Astronaut on the the moon looks at an outhouse with a picture of the Earth where the crescent moon would be.)