
Father cuts the legs off of bed to solve the 'monster under the bed problem.'
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Father cuts the legs off of bed to solve the 'monster under the bed problem.'
"Did you sleep awkwardly again?"
"I just love the way you're so endlessly inventive in the bedroom."
"Wow, these slippers are really warm!"
"Good evening, Susan. We've decided it's time you get your own bed."
Electric Blanket.
"John, wake up, I think the mattress has stopped breathing."
Tedious Romantic.
Duvet nailed to the floor.
"What should I wear to the living room today?"
"What is it about a tee shirt cannon that says 'foreplay' to you?"
"Let's go to sleep so that when we wake up today will be tomorrow."
"Well, NOW I can't sleep worrying about how much we spent on this high-tech mattress!"
"They're exactly the same, except in Hell you have to put on your own duvet cover."
"I don't CARE if Tracy Emin's bed sold for £4440,000...I STILL want you to clean your room."
"No monsters under this bed! After I cleaned there's no room."
'We'll take it!'
'Gravity wins - again.'
Football addict
'Ever since we bought thet blasted water bed we've been drifting apart!'
"I don't need to get out of bed, ma - I programmed an app to live my life for me."
"What do you have that's bigger than 'king'?"
'Since we got this round bed, I've been waking up dizzy every morning!'
"Decide who you are, Wanona, before you buy sheets."
"Dang it."
'Let's at least give the parabolic mattress a try - the Thompsons swear it saved their marriage.'
"Don't worry son. We're going to get you the best money that medicine can buy."
"Are we there yet?"
"Tonight, I get the closet. I was under the bed last night and my back is killing me!"
"Normally I wouldn't take any notice of all these ads on how to improve my performance in the bedroom..."
"So this is what we call a 'red flag'..."
'Tom, Roscoe has been with me for nine years. You have been with me only two years. When the sad day comes that Roscoe passes on, THEN you can move to this end of the bed.'
"This new adjustable mattress really does stop your snoring!"
"Remember when all we had was lots of little pillows?"
Giant Sale: 'I said it was simply a misunderstanding.'
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