Bedroom Band Members Gifts

"That' was great - let's run though that again."

"Did you sleep awkwardly again?"

The Wine Bottle and the Corkscrew

Women in bed with her husband reads a book titled 'Sex Stinks'.

"Most of the time it's 'Me Tarzan, you Jane', until we get into the bedroom. Then he's all, 'You Tarzan, Me Jane'."

"Hold on... did you mean to hit Snooze or Jazz?"

Newfangled contraceptions phobia: 'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

Tedious Romantic.

' I said, you WIN, I'll pay your dorm rent!!!'

Performance In The Bedroom

"These songbirds every morning at five A.M. would be really annoying if they weren't so damn talented."

"I think I might go outside. My fresh air app is glitchy today."

"Well, it's another brand-new day. What do you say to getting up and looking the damn thing straight in the eye?"

"They're exactly the same, except in Hell you have to put on your own duvet cover."

'We'll take it!'

Biting Slippers.

The Sex life of a Driving Test Examiner, "Thank you. I will not ask you to perform that manoeuvre again."

'Gravity wins - again.'

"This next song is for all the music teachers who said I'd never make it."

"Normally I wouldn't take any notice of all these ads on how to improve my performance in the bedroom..."

Musician sings off key while his dog can only watch,his jaws strapped together

"And just like that, Greg's snoring stopped..."

"Is there room for me?"

Harpist using her bed frame as a harp.

101 Positions/101 Excuses

S&M Lovers, "Not tonight dear... I haven't got a headache."

"Are we there yet?"

'I guess you two won't be reading the Kama Sutra again.'

Giant Sale: 'I said it was simply a misunderstanding.'

Colin's GPS was to prove useless at finding Maureen's 'G' spot.

"Next time, Id' like the director's cut."

Selfish man stealing the duvet.

'I'm not applauding your lovemaking, I'm trying to turn off the lights.'

'Paradise awaits pauline Norris' man in bed with a mask on

New Karma Sutra: No.1 The Begging Position.