Painter And Decorator Gifts

Face Painting Five Bucks

Prison Wallpaper.

"I know they say a bad workman always blames his tools but - a faulty plumbline!!"

Cavemen decorating their home.

My landlord told me you're the guy who's supposed to paint our apartment.

The Art Student.

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

'On your mark. Get set. Create!'

Jack of all trades

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

'It's called 'Oh Bugger It!' if you must know!'

The Artist

'We had the baby's ultrasound photo made into wallpaper.'

'Fine stencilling. But have you never thought - Tit Willow, Tit Willow, Tit Willow?'

Wolf Danny With "Random""The work must be tantamount to mayhem. Making an insatiable public confused, indifferent, annoyed—this is the premise on which rests my deliberately vacuous oeuvre."

The DaVinci Code

Painting by the numbers for adults

'The way the eyes follow you is uncanny.'

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

"Yes, it's oil-paint: It's difficult to find water for watercolours around here..."

'These elves sure are helpful around the house.'

Painting clouds

'It's my homage to Picasso.' (Snowman is all mixed up with eyes and nose in odd places)

(Camel paintings)

Adhesive Tiles: Do Not Open from this End.

"It's a postmodern mosaic, almost lyrical in its undercurrent." "My five-year-old will be happy to hear that."

Distractions Of The Great

Use your imagination.

'It's one of Larry King's earliest shows.'

Horti-Culture

Wood Stain and Sun Tan Lotion

"No, ma'am. I'm not sure what the difference is between being creative or just plain weird."

Painting the Ceiling

"I would like a tube of lemon yellow, cadmium red, cobalt blue, ivory, black, and zinc white, a sixteen-by-twenty canvas, a couple of brushes, and that book 'Painting in Oils'."

Unfinished painting of a monster in a lake sits beside the lake with no painter in sight