Painter Gifts

'Smile - it's Van Gogh.'

"Hendrickje, I feel another self-portrait coming on. Bring in the funny hats."

The Meh

"Hello, Braque? Picasso here. Cubism is out."

Safety First.

'I hate to tell you this, but that should be intensive care.'

'It's nice but will it be a hedge against inflation.'

'Whoa! Now they want angels and stuff... On the CEILING? None of this was in our original contract!'

'What have I told you before about drawing on the walls?'

"What good is art if you can't have fun with it?"

Woman shops while man sets up noose. "Do I go with bright white, deep white...."

Waiting to do the second coat was the worst part. It was like watching paint dry.

'No, Mr. Simmons, your MR images aren't in yet. We have older equipment, which takes a little longer to process.'

'Therapist is one word George!'

"By 'genius' do they mean the artist or the marketing department?"

Painter gets stuck in the middle of a room

"You weren't supposed to see this."

Using teamwork to paint a lamppost.

'Look Larry, this one has air coming out of it!'

Ceiling Paint

No matter your skills, there's something you can volunteer to do.

"When does the improvement part of this improvement project kick in?"

'May I make a suggestion?'

'I think this is deep enough for the foundations!'

Rhino Art

'On behalf of the park I'm going to have to charge you an artist's modeling fee.'

'I could do that.'

Nude painting/Nude Artist.

'Can you give me a blush in your cheeks to match this shade of crimson.'

D.I.Y ladder

"I should warn you I'm an expressionist painter..."

Please pardon the inconvenience while we remodel.

Picasso Jigsaw: There may be more than one solution.

'This guy's FAST!'

"Stop complaining and smile! It's a job, isn't it? NO wonder they call you Mona!"