Painter Gifts

'Smile - it's Van Gogh.'

Salvador Dali - Memorial Park

"Hendrickje, I feel another self-portrait coming on. Bring in the funny hats."

The Meh

"Hello, Braque? Picasso here. Cubism is out."

RBG, RGB, CMYK

Safety First.

'I hate to tell you this, but that should be intensive care.'

'It's nice but will it be a hedge against inflation.'

'Whoa! Now they want angels and stuff... On the CEILING? None of this was in our original contract!'

'What have I told you before about drawing on the walls?'

"What good is art if you can't have fun with it?"

Woman shops while man sets up noose. "Do I go with bright white, deep white...."

Waiting to do the second coat was the worst part. It was like watching paint dry.

Painter gets stuck in the middle of a room

Over 50 shades of grey available.

"By 'genius' do they mean the artist or the marketing department?"

'No, Mr. Simmons, your MR images aren't in yet. We have older equipment, which takes a little longer to process.'

'Therapist is one word George!'

Using teamwork to paint a lamppost.

"You weren't supposed to see this."

'Look Larry, this one has air coming out of it!'

Rhino Art

Ceiling Paint

'On behalf of the park I'm going to have to charge you an artist's modeling fee.'

'I could do that.'

'May I make a suggestion?'

D.I.Y ladder

'Can you give me a blush in your cheeks to match this shade of crimson.'

Nude painting/Nude Artist.

'I think this is deep enough for the foundations!'

"When does the improvement part of this improvement project kick in?"

No matter your skills, there's something you can volunteer to do.

"I'm not totally happy with the painting subcontractor."

"Why do you put yourself under such pressure?"