Painter Extraordinaire Gifts

'Beret Night at the Museum'

The Art Student.

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

Jack of all trades

'On your mark. Get set. Create!'

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

'It's called 'Oh Bugger It!' if you must know!'

'The meaning of communinication is the response we get'

The Artist

Wolf Danny With "Random""The work must be tantamount to mayhem. Making an insatiable public confused, indifferent, annoyed—this is the premise on which rests my deliberately vacuous oeuvre."

The DaVinci Code

Painting by the numbers for adults

'The way the eyes follow you is uncanny.'

"Yes, it's oil-paint: It's difficult to find water for watercolours around here..."

'These elves sure are helpful around the house.'

(Camel paintings)

'It's my homage to Picasso.' (Snowman is all mixed up with eyes and nose in odd places)

Painting clouds

"It's a postmodern mosaic, almost lyrical in its undercurrent." "My five-year-old will be happy to hear that."

Horti-Culture

'It's one of Larry King's earliest shows.'

Wood Stain and Sun Tan Lotion

Use your imagination.

"I would like a tube of lemon yellow, cadmium red, cobalt blue, ivory, black, and zinc white, a sixteen-by-twenty canvas, a couple of brushes, and that book 'Painting in Oils'."

Unfinished painting of a monster in a lake sits beside the lake with no painter in sight

"No, ma'am. I'm not sure what the difference is between being creative or just plain weird."

Painting the Ceiling

Distractions Of The Great

'No, Mr. Simmons, your MR images aren't in yet. We have older equipment, which takes a little longer to process.'

'Frankly, I think watching paint dry has been given a bad press.'

'And just what makes you think I don't know what I'm doing?!!'

"I think I perferred the plain magnolia"

"I'm the only sane artist in the world."

'Are you sure this is authentic ancient Indian art?'

Mr. Empirical With "Antarctica""Small is hostile. Rage contributes to shift away from literality. I'm off to True Value Hardware for some more self-reference tools."