Paintball Fan Gifts

'Lenny didn't have enough paint to finish the living room walls,so he paintballed them.

"Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama?" "That's right." "What's right?" "Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama." "Why are you asking me?"

"He took eight shots on the 19th hole!"

'He's been hiding out here for 20 years. Apparently, his buddies forgot to tell him the paintball tournament was over.'

'Fine. And you?'

'You bought an F-14 equipped with an internal 20 mm vulcan gatling-type paintball gun? I think you might be taking this paintball thing a little too seriously!'

"Got him up at the stadium, Chief. It was Yankee Duck Day."

Monster Baseball

'You called me out of the blue... Cobalt, ultramarine, prussian, cerulean or phthalocyanine?'

"Apart from that, Bob, what else did you learn on the team-building paintball weekend?"

'He's not a skilled pitcher. In fact, he throws like a nerd...'

"Slide, Howie!!! Slide!"

'Watch out, Dewey! Cow pie!'

'Time out! He needs a hug!!'

'Letting him buy the stupid guns was the only way I'd ever get him to paint the house.'

'The nurse wanted you to pee in THIS type of cup.'

"A game similar to baseball was first played in the Olympics in 1996." I didn't think "Jeapardy!" had any softball questions.

What would happen if Shakespeare lived centuries later and tried being a baseball umpire? Out, damned spot! Out, I say! Can you explain the infield fly rule. It is madness yet there is method in it! What's in a name? A rose by any other name would hit as sweet! Fair is foul, and foul is fair. You should stick to writing.

'Me? Argue? ...No, sir! That was an excellent call.'

I know! How about I take out the trash? Clean the basement? Re-tile the bathroom? Take you to the ballet? Ok. Ok. I'll have "the talk" with Teddy.

'This paintball war has really spun out of control.'

Clown Painting in Museum

"Sorry, Zak, since paintball aint bin invented yet, looks like you bin shot!"

'Quit playing kick ball with your brother!'

Sports Medicine.

"i'm not surprised to find this. You can fit a pickleball court anywhere."

"Hey! What's with the 'home run trot'? You struck out!"

Donald Trump

I use the word "batter" when talking about either of my two favorite things, pancakes and baseball!

T-Rex Baseball

At spring training.

Next William Shatner tries Pickleball.

Mom Umpires

A Not So Grand Slam.

'Safe!'