Paint Shade Selector Pillows

"What you've been coughing up - is it more of a 'Misty Green' or an 'Heirloom Sage'?"

"It boils down to which I dislike more: ironing shirts or non-iron shirts."

'You called me out of the blue... Cobalt, ultramarine, prussian, cerulean or phthalocyanine?'

'Don't know much about art but I know what I like.'

"I've downsized."

These colour charts are ridiculous... coal' black, 'midnight' black, 'licquorice black'.' - 'There's too much choice! All I want is plain old boring bl-' - 'Ooooooh... 'panther' black.' -

Eggshell blue

"What's the difference between the butterscotch champagne mist and the tawny sunset beige? Probably something buried deep in your psyche."

'George, I can't sleep with a window shade flapping! Get up and fix it!'

Spaghetto

"Not sure what to watch? Go to menu/settings/power/off/pick up a book."

Brick Red Paint...

Self-Portrait

Summer

The lame stuff you listen to (yes, you)

'Save or delete...decisions, decisions..it's just like being at work!'

Pantomimes Are Lousy Painters. . .

'Okay, how about THAT shade of mud?'

'See, honey? My teeth aren't yellow, they're 'Eloquent Ivory.''

'Do you have any white with a hint of discount?'

'What's it to be? An overbearing chef, an overbearing interior designer, or an overbearing gardener?'

"Here's a letter from a housewife in the southern tier of the kingdom. She writes: 'Sire, would it or would it not be appropriate to use a sand-finish latex paint on a wall on which there remains some painted-over wallpaper? Respectfully, Mrs. R. Jones.'"

Desert Island Downloads

'Okay, how about THAT shade of mud?'

"When it said, 'All the Colors of the Rainbow,' I expected more than seven."

'Its like Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen had never been born'

'All these years i've been doing tricks for regular dog food?! You're a monster, David. A monster!'