Paint Shade Selector T-Shirts

"What you've been coughing up - is it more of a 'Misty Green' or an 'Heirloom Sage'?"

"It boils down to which I dislike more: ironing shirts or non-iron shirts."

'You called me out of the blue... Cobalt, ultramarine, prussian, cerulean or phthalocyanine?'

'Don't know much about art but I know what I like.'

"I've downsized."

These colour charts are ridiculous... coal' black, 'midnight' black, 'licquorice black'.' - 'There's too much choice! All I want is plain old boring bl-' - 'Ooooooh... 'panther' black.' -

Eggshell blue

"What's the difference between the butterscotch champagne mist and the tawny sunset beige? Probably something buried deep in your psyche."

'George, I can't sleep with a window shade flapping! Get up and fix it!'

David Hockney

Spaghetto

"Not sure what to watch? Go to menu/settings/power/off/pick up a book."

Paint. I can't decide between Blood of my Enemies and Candy Apple Red.

That adds life! Before we installed the carpet, I looked down and saw nothing except a blank stair!

Brick Red Paint...

Self-Portrait

Summer

'and for my 12,307 choice I'd have the live extended version of...'

The lame stuff you listen to (yes, you)

'Save or delete...decisions, decisions..it's just like being at work!'

Pantomimes Are Lousy Painters. . .

'Okay, how about THAT shade of mud?'

'See, honey? My teeth aren't yellow, they're 'Eloquent Ivory.''

'Do you have any white with a hint of discount?'

'What's it to be? An overbearing chef, an overbearing interior designer, or an overbearing gardener?'

"Here's a letter from a housewife in the southern tier of the kingdom. She writes: 'Sire, would it or would it not be appropriate to use a sand-finish latex paint on a wall on which there remains some painted-over wallpaper? Respectfully, Mrs. R. Jones.'"

Desert Island Downloads

Colorful feathers. Drab feathers.

I keep telling Van Gogh his colors are off, but he only hears half of what I say.

'Okay, how about THAT shade of mud?'

"When it said, 'All the Colors of the Rainbow,' I expected more than seven."

'Its like Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen had never been born'

'All these years i've been doing tricks for regular dog food?! You're a monster, David. A monster!'

Ernie, your garden's in the shade --- Nothing will grow here! It'll be fine --- I'm planting bulbs!