Paint Palette Ponderer Pillows

'Its like Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen had never been born'

The Art Student.

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

A sign that reads "ART...and plenty of it!" hangs above the entrance to a museum.

'I WANTED to paint the room a shade of green, but gave up somewhere between chartreuse and citrine.'

'You called me out of the blue... Cobalt, ultramarine, prussian, cerulean or phthalocyanine?'

'I wish you wouldn't bring your work home with you!'

"Big deal! My digital picture frame can hold a thousand pictures!"

I'm color blind, please help.

Crayo-Blah

"He had help. There were architecture specialists, costume specialists, angel specialists..."

"It's almost as if you can get lost in it, Timmy. Timmy?"

"Bingo, it's the hippy lady again! She always throws something interesting: last week it was honey-beer bread..."

"But is it..?"

"Ok, let's sneak up on Mr. Canvas and see if we can make a good impression."

"Painted like this, finding furniture to match at least one colour should be simple!"

''Midnight in Paris' didn't work in the conference room. Let's try something more vibrant like 'Sunrise Over Wall Street.''

Divine Intervention

'Maybe if you cut off an ear it would look better.'

Negotiations over the new colour scheme had reached stalemate.

'I may not know much about art but I know what I like to slag off.'

Shadow Artist

Brick Red Paint...

Fin (The end).

"Can we be seated under a vegan painting?"

Self-Portrait

"He's showing a great interest in drawing."

'I love an empty canvas...especially yours...'

'It's another canvasser dear'

'Intriguing how the eyes follow you round the room . . .'

"Van Gogh has always been associated with the colour yellow. In your case I think the colour is mediochre!"

'Gee, doc, I never thought creative therapy would be like this.'

'My work is about having a big tin f grey paint in the shed.'

'Sorry, Steve, but we're trading you to France for two impressionists and a dadaist to be named later.'

'Er . . . wouldn't it be simpler to have your glasses tinted, dear?'