Paint Palette Ponderer Pillows

'Its like Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen had never been born'

The Art Student.

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

A sign that reads "ART...and plenty of it!" hangs above the entrance to a museum.

'I WANTED to paint the room a shade of green, but gave up somewhere between chartreuse and citrine.'

'You called me out of the blue... Cobalt, ultramarine, prussian, cerulean or phthalocyanine?'

'I wish you wouldn't bring your work home with you!'

I'm color blind, please help.

"Big deal! My digital picture frame can hold a thousand pictures!"

''Midnight in Paris' didn't work in the conference room. Let's try something more vibrant like 'Sunrise Over Wall Street.''

"Painted like this, finding furniture to match at least one colour should be simple!"

"Bingo, it's the hippy lady again! She always throws something interesting: last week it was honey-beer bread..."

"Ok, let's sneak up on Mr. Canvas and see if we can make a good impression."

"He had help. There were architecture specialists, costume specialists, angel specialists..."

"It's almost as if you can get lost in it, Timmy. Timmy?"

Crayo-Blah

"But is it..?"

Divine Intervention

Negotiations over the new colour scheme had reached stalemate.

'Maybe if you cut off an ear it would look better.'

"Can we be seated under a vegan painting?"

Shadow Artist

Brick Red Paint...

Fin (The end).

'I may not know much about art but I know what I like to slag off.'

That adds life! Before we installed the carpet, I looked down and saw nothing except a blank stair!

Self-Portrait

'I love an empty canvas...especially yours...'

"He's showing a great interest in drawing."

'It's another canvasser dear'

'Intriguing how the eyes follow you round the room . . .'

'Sorry, Steve, but we're trading you to France for two impressionists and a dadaist to be named later.'

'My work is about having a big tin f grey paint in the shed.'

"Van Gogh has always been associated with the colour yellow. In your case I think the colour is mediochre!"

'Gee, doc, I never thought creative therapy would be like this.'