Pageant Voyeur Pillows

If beauty pageant contestants were honest.

Miss America IQ Pageant

"Why, Vicar, I'm Eve in the Garden of Eden, surely..."

'He's wearing a toupee.'

'I'm looking for a good summer looks....I can't read yet.'

This is what Fred gets for wishing for more hair.

Miss Advertising transformed in the dressing room.

Circus Pageant

'For one of these girls, dreams of royalty are over...'

'You guys like to get into the holiday spirits?'

"Congratulations to Miss Jupiter."

'I'm your new editor and not only is this cartoon the funniest one ever made, but it also discovered the cure for cancer and exposes a new,safe and free energy source and it's brought an end to religious wars and that turns me on and I use...'

5lbs + 5lbs= ?

'Weren't they the ones who had wished for world peace?'

Miss America IQ pageant.

Woman wearing Miss 1977 sash: 'Things pretty much went downhill from there.'

'In our class's Christmas pageant, I'm playing the department store manager.'

'I wonder if I would be allowed to wear a baseball cap.'

Beauty contest

"Poor lady, she never wins these pageants. She has a really weird run."

Dear Diary, today I'm feeling beautiful...

Favorite author? Whoever wrote the Bible.

Blank Inside

"Hi. My name is Tanya and, if elected, my agenda will be cheddar! Cheddar, cheddar, cheddar!!"

"Come on, dear, you're only as bald as you feel."

7th annual weird fishes pageant

Beauty Contest

"They said it was the natural resting position of the telescope, but it still creeps me out."

Miss Jumbo Queen Pageant.

'I could wile away the hours / Conferrin' with the flowers / Consultin' with the rain...'