Page-turning Pubgoer Gifts

"And, if you'd like something to read, we have books on tap."

"He could have been the national bird, but that was a long, long time ago."

'What sort of wines do you like?' ... 'Powerful ones!'

'I know it's gassy...'

City Boy.

"It feels good to unwind..."

'Gimme a Canadian club on the rocks!'

"It's kind of sweet when they're all settled in like this."

Men's fragrances...

"What other tricks does he need?"

'I don't know much about history, don't know much biology ... but we'll be OK if there's a round on song lyrics.'

"So you're anthropomorphic too? It's a small world."

Fleeting illusions of happiness hour 5-7

'No Fred, this one is one me!'

'She thinks I'm out every night training for the London Marathon.'

'I'm having trouble with my drinking. Arthritis in my elbow.'

'Would you say your glass is half empty or half full?' 'Whose round is it?'

The Endangered Species: Your Local Pub

'All this talk about a consumer society... I don't buy it.'

'Half o' mild and a bag of pork scratchings - you're grooming me, aren't you?'

"Walking to the pub takes me 5 minutes, but 20 minutes to walk home." "The difference is staggering."

"Whoa! Was that today?"

Dog Bar with Toilets.

Professional woman in pub

JOE'S 'COME ON - YOU KNOW YOU REALLY WANT IT' BAR.

Drunken singers in a public house

'I'm looking for male bonding, but I'm a little rusty.'

A planet like ours - pub quiz dolphin

"My wife is trying to stop me doing my flamingo impression." "You must put your foot down! "

'Talking of of big tops have you seen the new barmaid at the Green Dragon?'

'Fred is a social conservative -- he believes in slow food and heavy beer.'

The Cavern Club - "One for the long and winding road Mr McCartney?"

"Your shout!"

The Reaper's Arms

'Do not stand while the room is in motion.'