Page-turning Enthusiast Gifts

"Ah, so many books...so little time..."

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

"If I 'HAD IT ALL' it would it be enough?"

You've read the book's dust jacket. Now, play the video game!

"It's about sex and revenge, except for a short chapter on the Continental Congress."

'It's a novel based on a movie adapted from a magazine article that was inspired by a video game.'

'Well, dad, as a medical student I've got to read specialized literature!'

'Tommy's doing fine. I'm concerned about your poor fund-raising record. You sold only two magazine subscriptions and one measly candy bar.'

It's an autobiography of a guy who spent his whole life trying to get his first @#^& book published. Editor.

"Commandments aren't really selling these days. However, we're willing to consider self-help tips or personal improvement ideas."

"This is a hell of a way to start a magazine."

Editor.

"What would you recommend to hold a seven-year-old girl's attention in a car from East Seventy-eighth Street to Bridgehampton?"

Reading

'Sorry, we can't offer you a job but we would like to publish your CV.'

'Could you just e-mail me your electronic book with signature, please?'

"I guess that's the place for people too poor to afford a kindle, huh dad?"

Bibliomaniac

The Last Non E-Book In The World.

'An ebook! What are you reading?' 'Against technology: From the Luddites to neo-Luddism.'

'I want to buy a self help eBook. Can you help me to download it to my eBook reader?'

Editor. Short. Sweet.

"I read an unforgettable book! Unfortunately, I don't remember the title and the author..."

"I just don't know what we'd have done without our subscription these past 25 years."

"D'you have any porn porn?"

Roald Dahl's books updated for modern sensitivities.

How very Independent!

'Y'know it started as a bedtime story he told his kids.'

"According to the statistics in this article, you should be my ex-husband and be three months behind in alimony payments."

"I just dusted off all our books. Apparently, we haven't read a book offline in a long time."

"We need a better distribution system."

Fashion Mag - Totally in - So last season

Publishing Clauses Of The '90s.

'We're very proud of our little Charlie. His reading is far in advance of his chronological age....'

"The 'Times' called his novel 'downloadable'."