Page-turner Fan Gifts

"I read an unforgettable book! Unfortunately, I don't remember the title and the author..."

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

He looks so natural lying there...

"Play 'Misty' for me."

Bill hits the ground running, makes a big splash early on, and rides a roller-coaster of insane popularity right into the "Where Are They Now?" Wilderness of Forgotten Celebrities.

Reading

'And in local news: Someone is hiding behind the drapes.'

Famous Optical Illusions!

Bibliomaniac

'If you're using this for research into your next book then you can sleep in the spare room!'

"We thought about a restaurant and decided we were more of a bookstore."

"Undiagnosed serial killer"

Dog detectives

"Another clear case of COVID19."

'He's been shot!'

Roald Dahl's books updated for modern sensitivities.

'Y'know it started as a bedtime story he told his kids.'

The big break in the case of the missing French Fries: 'But just to make sure, can you have each of them squawk.'

"They're not talking about New Moon the movie, they're talkign about how China and Japan greeted Obama."

'Don Francesco, scusi... But while we were burying Luigi, some joggers ran into us... So we had to bury five corpses altogether...'

'It says 'three percent split infititives, 8 percent passive verbs, 16 percent compound-complex sentences,average sentence length 26 words,paperback rights $3.2 million,movie sales $8.3 million,total take $11.5 million,less 5 percent agents fees.'

'The paintings are neolithic, I suspect the Mustaches wee added by a later people.'

Recollections of a Retired Butler

Police are searching for a male between 16 and 25 years, with a silky sheer taupe complexion and a run over his left eye.

"And can one illuminate the manuscript?"

"I'll recommend your book if you recommend mine."

'When I said we should read together I meant separate books.'

"He might have fallen but these tire marks suggest something completely different"

Cover Design for the Yellow Book, Vol 1

'Tell the doctor I'll be with him in another page and a half.'

Nobody new the identity of the mad bandager

Mr. Hyde writing the unauthorized autobiography of Dr. Jekyll

'Mystery egg.'

'How did I find you? Let's just say a little bird told me.'