Padlock Ponderer Gifts

"Unlock your imagination."

"According to mom the answers are all in this book!" "Too bad there's no pictures at which to look!"

"The report is clear that cyber crime is on the increase, it's a worry."

"I'm sorry, but we're looking for someone who's more likely to be followed than following."

"I'm in a catch-23 situation."

"I'm not sure if we're named after passwords or vice versa."

"Listen to this: 'Technology reduces the time we spend on a given task, but increases the number of tasks we're expected to do.' Sounds like a no-win situation to me!"

Optimist

"What a tragedy... he still had two years of his super left..."

"This may surprise some of your viewers, but I didn't actually want to go into the box."

'The economy being what it is, we've had to make a few changes in your retirement plan. . .'

"Ok... for today I want a 500-word essay on what you know about nothing."

WANTED Dead or Alive - Schrodinger's Cat.

"I have good news and bad news about your cat, Dr Schrodinger..."

'Wait a minute! What if this isn't just a puddle?! What if it's a huge, furious hibernating snowman?'

"Apparently over 50% of people never look at their pension plans!"

Next Time-Portal 5 Miles...

Schrödinger and his cat

"People are looking for stability in pension arrangements..."

"What's important is that we learn from what we must never admit happened."

Another Time Travel Pair o' Ducks.

"You never actually own a pension pot - you merely look after it for the next government."

"Most people forget they've had amnesia."

"All I take anymore is mushrooms for my anxiety, ketamine for my depression, and ibuprofen for the goblins constantly eating my feet."

"Pregnant!... How did that happen? We took precautions, like not having sex!"

"Of course you can't put your finger on it. It's a hypothetical particle."

Sharing the Bed with Zeno

"Oh my God, help! Is there a logician on board?!"

Thinking and thinking backwards.

"I just learned that my golden parachute was not properly packed."

'Retirement is OK, but instead of looking forword to weekends, I'm working at McDonalds.'

'Hey, it's that peeping Tom again, the one who has no respect for privacy.'

Two guns are pointing at each other in a peace sign.

Desert island dweller sinks in sand.

Recombinant DNA Lab. To-da! The palindromedary!