Padlock Ponderer Pillows

"Unlock your imagination."

"According to mom the answers are all in this book!" "Too bad there's no pictures at which to look!"

"The report is clear that cyber crime is on the increase, it's a worry."

"I'm in a catch-23 situation."

"Listen to this: 'Technology reduces the time we spend on a given task, but increases the number of tasks we're expected to do.' Sounds like a no-win situation to me!"

"I'm not sure if we're named after passwords or vice versa."

Optimist

"What a tragedy... he still had two years of his super left..."

"This may surprise some of your viewers, but I didn't actually want to go into the box."

'The economy being what it is, we've had to make a few changes in your retirement plan. . .'

"Ok... for today I want a 500-word essay on what you know about nothing."

WANTED Dead or Alive - Schrodinger's Cat.

"I have good news and bad news about your cat, Dr Schrodinger..."

'Wait a minute! What if this isn't just a puddle?! What if it's a huge, furious hibernating snowman?'

"People are looking for stability in pension arrangements..."

"Apparently over 50% of people never look at their pension plans!"

Next Time-Portal 5 Miles...

Schrödinger and his cat

"What's important is that we learn from what we must never admit happened."

Another Time Travel Pair o' Ducks.

"You never actually own a pension pot - you merely look after it for the next government."

"Most people forget they've had amnesia."

"All I take anymore is mushrooms for my anxiety, ketamine for my depression, and ibuprofen for the goblins constantly eating my feet."

"Oh my God, help! Is there a logician on board?!"

Sharing the Bed with Zeno

"Of course you can't put your finger on it. It's a hypothetical particle."

"Pregnant!... How did that happen? We took precautions, like not having sex!"

Thinking and thinking backwards.

"I just learned that my golden parachute was not properly packed."

How do you fell about buying your own health insurance?

'Hey, it's that peeping Tom again, the one who has no respect for privacy.'

Two guns are pointing at each other in a peace sign.