Password Ponderers Pillows

"It started as an out-of body experience but I forgot the password to get back in."

"dzKyivcy5n2#ijwx9uc!"

"The report is clear that cyber crime is on the increase, it's a worry."

A small number of people are afraid of heights, but there is an epidemic fear of widths.

"I'm not sure if we're named after passwords or vice versa."

"What a tragedy... he still had two years of his super left..."

"I change my mantra every two months so no one can hack my soul."

'The economy being what it is, we've had to make a few changes in your retirement plan. . .'

'I had considered a career as an offshore commodities broker specialising in securitised asset transfers but the pension wasn't as good.'

"The Wi-Fi password is publish 'publish or perish'."

"Apparently over 50% of people never look at their pension plans!"

"People are looking for stability in pension arrangements..."

Roger Buffle Jr. supplies his father with yet another computer password.

"So who is this First pet?"

"You never actually own a pension pot - you merely look after it for the next government."

"If we take a late retirement and an early death, we'll just squeak by."

"I just learned that my golden parachute was not properly packed."

'There must be some way we can capitalize on that damn boson.'

Buck Naked

"The industry has agreed to take the pensions dashboard off our hands. . ."

'Hey, it's that peeping Tom again, the one who has no respect for privacy.'

'In other words, statistics prove that statisticians aren't always right.'

How to create a password you can remember...

'When bad 401ks happen to good people'

Passing the Pension Time Bomb

"The pension crisis prompted me to consider alternative invstments. Like Roulette."

"I'm the ghost of your future retirement."

Retirement Issues

Desert Island Surveillance.

'I re-invested what was left of my 401K into returnable pop cans. I figure by the time I retire I should have about three dollars.'

"The real trick will be enjoying retirement long enough before the Government goes belly up."

"Forgetting passwords doesn't make you a bad person, Arnold."

"My inner child just turned 62. Where's his money?"

Dr. McPhee discovers the Embarrassment Particle.