Pachyderm Pal Gifts

Every Christmas Ned would regift. . . this year was the most challenging yet!!

Licensed Therapist

'So what's it like riding in first class?'

"They think we're their best friend. Just play along with it."

'That was fun!'

"I think she's figured out what W-A-L-K means."

"It get it – you're hungry."

Now, let's not be hasty! They may look the same, but we are both duty bound to fetch our own master's ball...

A large leaf falling on a dog

A man and his dog

'I know he doesn't like this house, but he'll just have to get used to it.'

Pet a Puppy

'I guess my brain just started to really care about itself.'

Woman setting out a dinner party with name cards labeled cat person, dog person.

No Soliciting

"I'm beginning to think that buy one, get one free is not always a good thing."

"A little help, please."

"Well, it's disappointing: Young Master seems to use the term 'best friend' for anybody who pays him the slightest attention..."

"Don't even think about it."

'Can you give him something to relax his jaws?'

"Just what emotion is your emotional support dog supporting?"

'I found him on the internet.'

'No JAMIE,you're NOT keeping any strays! Now GET rid of him and go wash up for dinner!...' / 'Sorry kiddo,i tried...'

"Wow, what a DILF."

"Hi, kid! Did you watch 'Sesame Street' today?"

Sunday P.M. July 15, 1990 in the Watternods' Living Room with the Watternods' Dog and Mr. Wu Lung's Cat from Next Door

"You've already been for a walk."

'It says here: while most dogs are family dogs, some dogs like one family member more. Do you think Fritzi is like that?'

'Sure, he acts like he's into you now, but, trust me...he's only interested in one thing.'

"It's a good boy!"

"Petting, fetching, receiving belly rubs . . . It all adds to your billable hours."

'Max and I have a give and take relationship. He sniffs my butt...and I let him.'

Jogging...

"Heel! Pass it on."

"Really, self-taught - that's remarkable!"