Ownership Enthusiast Gifts

"I see you've security marked your property."

'Now that I have your attention...'

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

Profit

'Which 'win' is ours? Because the one on the left looks bigger.'

Businessmen trying to prop up a line-chart with sticks

'Quick! We need a bigger chart in here!'

'If he knows so much about stocks and shares, how come he still has to work?'

'Looks like your cash cow just got diverted to the slaughterhouse.'

"I'm from brokers without borders. Invest in deserted island reits!"

'Investment charts can be complicated, son, but that usually means, 'bonuses'.'

"Fantastic presentation! All of the investors loved it."

'Wavering between being bullish or bearish'

'Today the stock market was moribund, as growth equities sputtered and bonds dipped due to the inverted yield curve. I'd translate that into layman's terms...but they don't pay me enough.'

"Okay, money doesn't make you happy. So how about commodity futures?"

'If only I'd spent as much time on my investment portfolio as I did on my lolly mix when I was a kid.'

Wall Street Couch

Investments - Founders Bear and Bull.

Day trading.

'When investment bankers give parental advice'

Man sees sign stating dog for sale, house and land thrown in.

'When he comes through that door, let's all jump up and give him a big kiss!'

"We're counting on you to reverse this trend before this afternoon's investors meeting."

"Ed and Helen's portfolio rose 3 point today on Dave's purchase of 100 shares..."

"One day, my boy, all this will be retirement homes."

'Stocks were up on news that no performance enhancing drugs were used to achieve today's highs. . .'

I was trying to day trade my way through business school, but then the stock market tanked.

'You always bring me the same thing every year, toys games sports equipment. I never get what I really want!' - 'What's that?' - 'Real estate!'

'Not feeling well? Don't be silly - your EKG has outperformed the Dow.'

'No thanks, I don't drink when I'm driving home a point about investing.'

US dollar perched on fragile house of cards.

Men on escalators reading newspapers, shares are going up on the up escalator and down on the down escalator.

'Stocks rose on the rumor that the market is mostly rumor-driven.'

"My path to success and fortune was that rather than foraging and storing my own food, I built a portfolio of storage properties to rent..."

'There he goes, the bravest M&A knight that our kingdom has ever known.'