Equity Enthusiast Gifts

'Which 'win' is ours? Because the one on the left looks bigger.'

'Today the stock market was moribund, as growth equities sputtered and bonds dipped due to the inverted yield curve. I'd translate that into layman's terms...but they don't pay me enough.'

The Eyes of Justice

"You're being violent and disruptive! Try being peaceful!"

"It's not surprising that there are venture capitalists but no venture socialists."

'What do you mean I'm not putting in any sweat equity? I sweat every time you give me a bill.'

'Okay, so they rate the stock a 'strong buy' while we rate it a 'strong sell'. At least we both feel strongly about it.'

Investments - we support universal wealth care.

Got Rationality?

Empty cupboard

Equity Table Dance Club

'So what's this investment problem of yours?'

REPORT CARD, 'Maybe my teacher just isn't teaching math right -- she IS a girl, after all.'

'You're too heavy on metals and too light on equities.'

'I'm starting to wonder if all my 'Account Executive' got on her broker's exam was nail polish.'

"Sorry, Rudy, no way can I raise your pay to $15 an hour." "Why not?" "'Cause that would destroy jobs. What would you do for a job once I moved the cafe to somewhere where people earn much less?" "If people earn much less, they won't be able to afford your products." "If there's one thing people love more than affording to buy stuff, it's buying stuff they can't afford." "Sweet, innocent Rudy."

'Now that I have your attention...'

"Tariffs love me...tariffs love me not..."

Late Stage Capitalism and the Biosphere Engage in Some Meaningful Dialogue...

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

The day the stock market went UP.

Profit

Businessmen trying to prop up a line-chart with sticks

'Quick! We need a bigger chart in here!'

'There's good news and bad news, J. B. - we now control 51% of this corporation's stock!'

'If he knows so much about stocks and shares, how come he still has to work?'

"DeepSeek" "Stargate"

Entering the Business Community: Assets/Liabilities

'Looks like your cash cow just got diverted to the slaughterhouse.'

"Unfortunately, the consumer was not as demanding as we had hoped."

"I'm from brokers without borders. Invest in deserted island reits!"

"We need to reset our fiscal compass to the changing business horizon."

"Do you promise to love, honour and contribute to the gross national product?"

Investments - remember, you are what you invest in!