Owl Watching Pillows

"Yes, Junior is still asleep! Now that he's a teenager, he's almost fully diurnal..."

"You're such a hoot, Owen!"

Scottish Football Fan - "...and please Lord, let the result be against the run of play."

'Wow! That was some world series, Ella! Both Pujols and Holland were just amazing...'

He's in training for the rugby World Cup.

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

"Honey, do these sweatpants make me look like I prefer we stay in tonight so I can watch the game?"

"The Bruins are down a goal. Do me a favor: Pretend you’re a Boston terrier."

'And when did you have your last owl movement?'

'Frank built it himself. The last football will fall through the hourglass 10 seconds before the Super Bowl starts.'

"I will always cheer you on, but I will never 'Woo-hoo!' you."

350 Feet.

'At least now the injury worries are over, we can concentrate on slagging off the team.'

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

'And at what stage did you realise the ball you were heading was on the TV?'

Putting Practice.

"He's got great velocity but his trajectory needs work."

'It's cutting edge theatre.'

'I hate bloody football! It's just a bunch of over-rated, overpaid nancy boys kicking a b-' - 'Genuine football fans may leave work early to avoid missing the start of important World Cup fixtures.' - 'C'mon England!'

Super Bowl Halftime Show Barbra Streisand reads from her memoir.

"Actually, Burt's weathering the stay-at-home thing pretty well."

7 can't-miss prayers to insure that your team wins.

'...However, he is such a heck of a nice guy, we're going to give him the touchdown anyway.'

'John is watching the game under protest.'

"It evened out, for every free kick they got, we had one against us."

'And now on the comedy channel Jose Mourinho's latest outburst.'

'Don't be a wisenheimer.'

"Have I ever told you how sexy you look when you sit through overtime?"

"Who do you like in the super bowl?"

"Whaddaya say we head home and curl up in front of a nice warm football game?"

'All this viewing is an endurance event in itself...'

It had been a while, but he had finally come home.

"See, dear, it's only an owl hooting...."

The commentators want to run the officials...

'They've made this 3D football really realistic, it even chucks coins at you.'