Owl Watching Pillows

"Yes, Junior is still asleep! Now that he's a teenager, he's almost fully diurnal..."

"You're such a hoot, Owen!"

Scottish Football Fan - "...and please Lord, let the result be against the run of play."

He's in training for the rugby World Cup.

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

"Honey, do these sweatpants make me look like I prefer we stay in tonight so I can watch the game?"

"The Bruins are down a goal. Do me a favor: Pretend you’re a Boston terrier."

'And when did you have your last owl movement?'

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

"I will always cheer you on, but I will never 'Woo-hoo!' you."

'And at what stage did you realise the ball you were heading was on the TV?'

Putting Practice.

'It's cutting edge theatre.'

"He's got great velocity but his trajectory needs work."

7 can't-miss prayers to insure that your team wins.

"It evened out, for every free kick they got, we had one against us."

"Actually, Burt's weathering the stay-at-home thing pretty well."

'John is watching the game under protest.'

'...However, he is such a heck of a nice guy, we're going to give him the touchdown anyway.'

'And now on the comedy channel Jose Mourinho's latest outburst.'

'They've made this 3D football really realistic, it even chucks coins at you.'

The commentators want to run the officials...

'Call 911! He watched 12 straight hours of football without training adequately.'

"Have I ever told you how sexy you look when you sit through overtime?"

"Whaddaya say we head home and curl up in front of a nice warm football game?"

It had been a while, but he had finally come home.

'Don't be a wisenheimer.'

"Who do you like in the super bowl?"

"See, dear, it's only an owl hooting...."

'I had to give a short speech last night. It was a hoot!'