Watching Football Pillows

'I hate bloody football! It's just a bunch of over-rated, overpaid nancy boys kicking a b-' - 'Genuine football fans may leave work early to avoid missing the start of important World Cup fixtures.' - 'C'mon England!'

'He gets confused switching channels between the World series and NFL games.'

'You remember...after the Super Bowl last year?'

What're you doing for Thanksgiving, little buddy? Having a huge party. It'll be full of turkey, cranberry sauce, wine, eggnog, football, and friends and family who love me dearly. Oh, good. I was afraid you'd be alone all day playing video games. "Turkey Slaughter VI" is no ordinary game. You're coming to my place.

'If it's alright with your agent, Kolwalski, I'd like to hand the ball off to you.'

Connor Wickham

You really gorge yourself on sports. THEY score and YOU take a victory lap through the kitchen.!

'One day you'll be able to 'sack' a football manager.'

'Your barking at the TV did not cause that fumble.'

The commentators want to run the officials...

Accountant watching a game during working hours.

'Apart from the vuvuzela incident did you enjoy England's World Cup games?'

'Can I leave early tomorrow to watch England in the World Bowls Championships on TV...'

"Women's World Cup, you're never that close to the screen watching the mens!"

Scottish Football Fan - "...and please Lord, let the result be against the run of play."

'Wow! That was some world series, Ella! Both Pujols and Holland were just amazing...'

He's in training for the rugby World Cup.

"Honey, do these sweatpants make me look like I prefer we stay in tonight so I can watch the game?"

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

'Frank built it himself. The last football will fall through the hourglass 10 seconds before the Super Bowl starts.'

"The Bruins are down a goal. Do me a favor: Pretend you’re a Boston terrier."

350 Feet.

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

'Yes! The momentum's going to shift now. Our home fan is starting to make some noise!'

"I will always cheer you on, but I will never 'Woo-hoo!' you."

'At least now the injury worries are over, we can concentrate on slagging off the team.'

'And at what stage did you realise the ball you were heading was on the TV?'

A man cheers

"It's World Cup Soccer, Tia Carmen. The U.S. vs England."

Putting Practice.

"He's got great velocity but his trajectory needs work."

"It evened out, for every free kick they got, we had one against us."

7 can't-miss prayers to insure that your team wins.

'John is watching the game under protest.'

'...However, he is such a heck of a nice guy, we're going to give him the touchdown anyway.'