Oversharing Friend Gifts

'Nice of you to ask. My bronchitis is acting up, I have a collapsed lung, my acid-reflux is terrible, I have a heart murmur...'

"Have you tried binge-watching a show together?"

"If it doesn't happen on Facebook, it didn't happen."

"Everything is dandy--and our intestinal biomes are joyous."

Girl to girl: 'A friend is someone you don't have to call dibs with.'

'You put it down for five seconds. I get it now.'

Steve found himself on his travels.

"Do you want the last piece, or can I have it?"

"Hey, Brian. I can't make it to the park today, but I'll be there in spirit."

Three years ago during a special episode of the Ask Sadie™ show, our resident octogenarian asked readers for advice about how she could deal with her midlife crisis. You should try a radical makeover. When I hit midlife, I dyed my hair, got some tattoos, and dropped 75 pounds. My husband barely recognized me when he returned from overseas. He was not happy with my "new self," so I divorced him rather than change who I'd become. It was the best decision I'd made since I cut my thieving mother out

'Who else have I written for? Ridge Park Avenue, 7th Street, Elm Road, Thornwood Drive...'

"Am I a new parent? No, I'm a new Uber driver taking him to school."

Clown-filled vehicle in the car pool lane

"Can I start you all off with my cheesy alimony saga?"

Arabian Nights.

"Of course I try to communicate with him - I update my blog almost daily."

Cracked Down Upon by Government? There's an App for That.

Samosas

'Oh him? That's Frank. My parents made me take in a boarder to cover the cost of my car insurance.'

Ubear.

Flowers Explosion!

"My goodness, Albert! Open your eyes and watch out where you're going while grazing!"

"I did share! I gave Dougie all my melted candy."

'Mom calls this a diary where you write private thoughts no one else can see. What fun is that?'

Grandma's Cupcakes And Details About My Foot Surgery

"Maybe I can buy a self driving car, and hire it out to Uber to make the payments."

'Now that we're married, I thought I should be less selfish. Here, take the TV remote while I get a snack.'

A boy wanting another boy to share an oyster

"Doctor, I just can't keep anything to myself..."

Vern takes the cashier's greeting of 'how are you today?' far too literally.

"Can I call you back? I'm having sex."

"So, how do you like driving for Lyft?"

You get bottled water, but you have to share it with a small child who's eating a hot dog.

"He's driving a blue Subaru, looks like he's two minutes away."

"That's the problem with social media. Once you let it go, it's hard to take back."