Oversharing Aficionados Pillows

"Can I start you all off with my cheesy alimony saga?"

"Sorry I'm late. I overslept." "Is that even a real word?"

"Everything is dandy--and our intestinal biomes are joyous."

'Take one of these diet pills every time you regain consciousness.'

"Do you want the last piece, or can I have it?"

"EWE-BUR" "SHEAR-X"

Samosas

"So that's unanimous Gentlemen. Seatbelts fitted on all our trains"

"Say when!"

"Move over, pardner, yer ridin' in the horsepool lane!"

Grandma's Cupcakes And Details About My Foot Surgery

"It was Monday morning, he kept hitting the snooze button, and before he knew it, it had been twenty years."

"Can I call you back? I'm having sex."

'The wife will be late I'm afraid-it's my turn for the car today.'

"Doctor, I just can't keep anything to myself..."

Pizza island.

"That's the problem with social media. Once you let it go, it's hard to take back."

'Nice of you to ask. My bronchitis is acting up, I have a collapsed lung, my acid-reflux is terrible, I have a heart murmur...'

Couple in bed. Man enjoys post-coital cigarette while woman is on laptop. He says: 'Are you blogging this?'

"Miranda, this is Larry, my old therapist — Larry knows all my secrets ... and some of yours."

"Whoa – way too much information."

"I do think it would speed things up if you followed my social media."

Executive Transit Authority

"Hey, we stole six thousand. Can I post that on Facebook?"