Oversharing Comedian Pillows

Project Length As Measured In Dog Years

'Darn those neighbors. A cookie's missing.'

"Everything is dandy--and our intestinal biomes are joyous."

'For Sale by Neighbor'

Motorway notices reading: 'Fog. But if you can read this, it isn't that bad'.

'I thought up the term 'too big to fail'. So where's my bonus?'

'We don't keep cash on the premises.'

The return of Miss Subways

"Road construction used to bother me. But compared to all the craziness going on in the world, I'll take this any day."

Beep' 'beep' 'beep' 'beep'' - 'Slam!' - 'Great... another long week of pain and humiliation ahead...' - ''Click'' - 'God, Ilove my job.' - '' -

"Can I start you all off with my cheesy alimony saga?"

Riding instructor waits to fish a child out of jumping obstacle.

Honey I'm Home

Need a Lawyer?

The Last of the Passenger Pigeons

Metrocard error messages

'Trouble is, I only want to wear them for cycling to work.'

Manhole Warning

"Excuse me, would you mind taking your portable zombie game to another carriage?"

Metro North Entrance: Closed because it's broken.

'With the tax cut and the federal deficit, the only solution is for you to earn more, Mr. Syms.'

'I'll fix you! But Good!'

Grandma's Cupcakes And Details About My Foot Surgery

'I was assured that this would be a double decker bus.'

'What do you mean I can't take the HOV lane? There are two of us?'

'Road Construction Updates. While you're on hold for the next hour, press 1 if you would like to listen to New Age Music, press 2 If you would like to listen to rap, press 3 If you would like to listen to country, press 4... '

The End is Not Near.

Covid-19: Mind the Gap

Point of no return: 'I told you that stupid GPS was defective. Should've returned it when we still had the chance.'

Opera house to support