Overprotective Parent Survivor Pillows

"Let's talk about your overprotective mother."

No Immediate Danger

"I don't care why you crossed the road! I do care however about "how" you crossed the road: without checking for cars first!"

'News headline: Britain unsafe to bring up young children.'

First Steps

'Honey...you're spoiling that child.'

'It's my mother. She wants to talk to you.'

"I wouldn't take the name 'dog strangling vine' literally."

"I think he's outgrown the baby gate."

License, registration, and some I.D. for the small child watching what appears to be a completely inappropriate PG-13 movie in the back.

"Ya know, boys and girls studying alone like this is strictly forbidden in Iran."

Personnel: 'I promised Mom I'd call her when I got here safely - do you mind?'

'How many kids do you actually have?'

Mother's Whistler.

"My mom can be a little over-protective ... "

"I'm letting him soak."

'Which end's the shallow end?'

"No - wait, I haven't read them all yet..."

"Go, take the afternoon off, I'll babysit: he'll be safe with me..."

"Sometimes I feel the only thing keeping us together is our fear of the children."

"Daddy, you're not going to give us a sermon on responsible behavior, are you?"

I wish my baby came with suction cups so there was a place to put him while I shower.

"Lawsuits must really be getting out of hand."

'Please excuse my mother, this is my first interview.'

"When they say to use protection... this is what you're protecting against."

"And a mild sedative for the kid behind me."

"I still think we should go higher than Factor 0.5."

My mom won't let me walk to school. I might get mugged. She won't let me play sports. I might get injured. West Fester High School. And she won't let me get onto the scales. Why not? It might hurt my self-esteem.

"I'm sorry your son Billy ran away, but there's not much we can do being that he's thirty-four."

'For cryin' out loud. All I said was I thought I heard a noise outside last night!'

Bring my daughter back at 11 sharp or...

'He's at the awkward age - out of diapers and into everything else.

"Mom always was a helicopter mom, and now she's got a drone!"

"Jimmy has helicoptor parents."

"I realize some of your friends have them, but you cannot have a webcam in your room."