Overprotective Parent Survivor Pillows

"Let's talk about your overprotective mother."

No Immediate Danger

"I don't care why you crossed the road! I do care however about "how" you crossed the road: without checking for cars first!"

First Steps

'News headline: Britain unsafe to bring up young children.'

'Honey...you're spoiling that child.'

'It's my mother. She wants to talk to you.'

"I wouldn't take the name 'dog strangling vine' literally."

"I think he's outgrown the baby gate."

"Ya know, boys and girls studying alone like this is strictly forbidden in Iran."

Personnel: 'I promised Mom I'd call her when I got here safely - do you mind?'

'How many kids do you actually have?'

"My mom can be a little over-protective ... "

'Which end's the shallow end?'

"Go, take the afternoon off, I'll babysit: he'll be safe with me..."

"I'm letting him soak."

"No - wait, I haven't read them all yet..."

"Sometimes I feel the only thing keeping us together is our fear of the children."

"Daddy, you're not going to give us a sermon on responsible behavior, are you?"

I wish my baby came with suction cups so there was a place to put him while I shower.

"Lawsuits must really be getting out of hand."

'Please excuse my mother, this is my first interview.'

"I'm sorry your son Billy ran away, but there's not much we can do being that he's thirty-four."

"And a mild sedative for the kid behind me."

"I still think we should go higher than Factor 0.5."

"When they say to use protection... this is what you're protecting against."

Bring my daughter back at 11 sharp or...

"Mom always was a helicopter mom, and now she's got a drone!"

"Of course I trust your judgement dear. But, it can't hurt to do a quick police check on your new boyfriend."

'Do you think he's starting to out grow the pram?'

"Jimmy has helicoptor parents."

'He's at the awkward age - out of diapers and into everything else.