Overprotective Daddies Club Pillows

'Daddy's still up - I can hear him unlocking the firearms cabinet.'

No Immediate Danger

"I don't care why you crossed the road! I do care however about "how" you crossed the road: without checking for cars first!"

'News headline: Britain unsafe to bring up young children.'

First Steps

Mom, I think you're carrying us too much.

'Honey...you're spoiling that child.'

'It's my mother. She wants to talk to you.'

License, registration, and some I.D. for the small child watching what appears to be a completely inappropriate PG-13 movie in the back.

Personnel: 'I promised Mom I'd call her when I got here safely - do you mind?'

"My mom can be a little over-protective ... "

"No - wait, I haven't read them all yet..."

"Daddy, you're not going to give us a sermon on responsible behavior, are you?"

I wish my baby came with suction cups so there was a place to put him while I shower.

"Lawsuits must really be getting out of hand."

Health and Safety Gone Mad - "It doesn't look safe, his face is totally exposed to danger."

"Personally, I wouldn't have a problem with a nanny state."

'For cryin' out loud. All I said was I thought I heard a noise outside last night!'

My mom won't let me walk to school. I might get mugged. She won't let me play sports. I might get injured. West Fester High School. And she won't let me get onto the scales. Why not? It might hurt my self-esteem.

Bring my daughter back at 11 sharp or...

"I'm sorry your son Billy ran away, but there's not much we can do being that he's thirty-four."

"I still think we should go higher than Factor 0.5."

"I realize some of your friends have them, but you cannot have a webcam in your room."

"Gracie, is this a love note? Who's Tyler?"

"Sorry I'm late, dad! Which number?"

'Do you think he's starting to out grow the pram?'

"Mom always was a helicopter mom, and now she's got a drone!"

"Of course I trust your judgement dear. But, it can't hurt to do a quick police check on your new boyfriend."

'Dad - couldn't you miss just a little of my growing up?'

"I asked my Mom to drive me to school because the bus doesn't have airbags"

'Oh, Daddy's old gun?... I think he's planning on showing it to you. He always said, it was there in case I ever brought a boyfriend home.'

one final word. bring my daughter home at 11pm sharp or. . .

"Jimmy has helicoptor parents."

"Do your dad and tia know you broke up with Smiley?"

"You spoil that child!"