Overindulgence Satirist Gifts

'What I like best about a magnum of Champagne is, it's a controlled portion.'

'Perhaps sir would like the dessert menu?'

'Please take this away from me.'

Forecasters are two a penny. Supply exceeds demand.

'Did anyone save a stomach for dessert?'

'You must know my kids...they spend like there's no tomorrow.'

'The rich get richer, the poorer get poorer..' '..And the comfortably off stay comfortably off!'

'Last chance to give for next 400 yards.'

Ed's Odd Job Lot.

'They're the angel of social conscience funds and his evil twin, greedy devil.'

'That's enough cream. Please stop.'

'Ooops, wrong door!'

'You've been overfeeding the budgie again, dear.'

"Long term I'm worried about global warming - short term, about freezing my ass off."

Your Flexible Fiend.

'Pretty confident, huh?'

Slower than a rubber-tipped arrow,as powerful as a wind-up choo-choo, unable to step over his shoelaces, it's Copyright Free Man!

"Wow - good job!"

'How much exactly is a chinese takeaway?'

Oh dear. The part that needs replacing has been discontinued because the huge demand for it kept the factory from making other parts.

'Yes, they do have magnetic strips, but no, iron supplements don't cause you to be attracted to credit cards.'

Things you'll never hear me say.

'Things are beginning to pick up...But there won't be a rerun of the excesses of the past...'

Gluttony, Inc.

'Your surveillance videos always make me look fat.'

Diet now...ask me how. 'I spent $600 at the fat farm and haven't lost a single kilo, apparently you're supposed to show up...'

Doc, I firmly believe in portion control as long as I control them!

'That lunch didn't agree with me - it wasn't tax deductable.'

"Manufacturing will take place in China, R&D in South Korea, logistics in Mumbai and we'll be running customer care in Vietnam."

'Big cat? I told you we overfeed our cat.'

"True, the private sector has its benefits, but, then again, so does the public trough."

"This is my shame spiral pepper spray."

Man with each foot on a set of scales.

"You can have the cherry - I'm on a diet."

'I can't tell you how much I appreciate this, sir!', 'Then give it back!'