Overindulgence Humorist Gifts

'That's enough cream. Please stop.'

'Perhaps sir would like the dessert menu?'

'What I like best about a magnum of Champagne is, it's a controlled portion.'

'I wasted a lot of time in graduate school to get this job.'

"And then, like an idiot, I turned to the boss and said 'Maybe the stock market isn't the only thing that's been overvalued!'"

"I've had enough sweets for one day."

"And what would you like to regret later?"

'Please take this away from me.'

'Did anyone save a stomach for dessert?'

'I'm worried that if I study too hard, I couldn end up being a teacher.'

'Yes, that's all - isn't 1500 calories enough?'

"I never discuss my clients with their mothers."

'You've been overfeeding the budgie again, dear.'

'Pretty confident, huh?'

"Wow - good job!"

Hammer Instructions

"I'd like to file a report. I'm trying to find myself."

'My bank has introduced a new 'SMS alert' service.'

"It doesn't really matter if I take a wrong pill - I probably have something that needs it anyway!"

Diet now...ask me how. 'I spent $600 at the fat farm and haven't lost a single kilo, apparently you're supposed to show up...'

Devils and Angels

Gluttony, Inc.

Things you'll never hear me say.

'Things are beginning to pick up...But there won't be a rerun of the excesses of the past...'

"You can have the cherry - I'm on a diet."

Nursing a Hangover

"This is my shame spiral pepper spray."

'Big cat? I told you we overfeed our cat.'

Execution.

"How's about this beauty? 28 days, 67,000 calories."

All you can eat buffet - Customer waving a white flag.