Overachiever Humorist Gifts

'I'm worried that if I study too hard, I couldn end up being a teacher.'

Overjumpers

"Doing your homework may lead to a job that has homework."

Genius Envy

'I told you hard work would pay off in the third grade, Cate...You've had three job offers.'

'I wasted a lot of time in graduate school to get this job.'

"Could you please downgrade this to a C? High expectations bring out the worst in my parents."

Empty Headed Schoolboy

"Rosalie—your poor performance this year has reduced your parents' investment in you by almost seventy per cent."

"You'll never make it as a doctor with handwriting like this. I understood every word."

'They're a very successful family.'

Too big to fail

Workaholics Anonymous meeting: 'No one showed up. Everyone is working.'

'No ulcers shows me you haven't reached your full potential.'

"Stop applying! You've been accepted to three universities!"

"Congratulations Professor, the committee 'okayed' your grant request."

'The problem is you're a perfectionist. You don't always have to be totally evil. Sometimes it's OK to just be annoying.'

"Looks like a storm ahead, Captain." "I think you're being over dramatic."

"I'm glad you like this new brand of coffee, Joni. The label said "fast-acting," but who knows what that means!"

Ladder of success"...Perhaps, you'd like our economy model."

Still a Disappointment to his Mother

"You promised to stop bringing your work home."

'...then I got my masters in psychology, and a year later I earned my Ph.D. in sociology. By the time I get my master in math and my doctorate in history, I'll be ready to retire.'

"This has been a productive homework session!"

Office Task Map

A woodpecker fashions a statue of a woodpecker.

"Your internship is finally over. You're now required to work longer hours with no extra pay."

"I can't believe it...a 'B' average on my report card? I'm not that smart! The theories of probability predict it's likely that the school's data system somehow encountered a catastrophic breakdown."

'Ten 'A's? Frankly son, I'm disappointed that you're not more of a disappointment to me.'

'I'm sorry - Mr. Jenkins, MBA, PhD, MD, Esq. is O.U.T.'

'Ferguson always was an overachiever.'