Overconfident Charmer Pillows

'Mismatched Mantras'

Showbiz Awards

Dick was the kind of guy who wanted everyone to know it was his birthday.

'Do you come here often?'

'I do so much better with women when I quit trying to understand them and just repeat what they say to each other.'

'I can't work with computers, on account of my animal magnetism.'

"Come on dear. It's getting late, and you have to be up early to collect your pension."

I conduct comprehensive surveys - I ask my girlfriend.

'Here goes the second bottle of champagne... I think it would be fair of You to tell me what are my chances so I know whether to order another bottle or not...'

A guy tries his luck at the water cooler.

Man carrying crates of eggs about to step on sleeping dog.

'I'm not sure I want to see you again, but just in case, I've backed you up on a flash drive.'

Women rush to man with 'I heart emotions' t-shirt.

"Warm and rich, fresh and bright, with depth and intensity. Not the wine, you."

'You know how they say, no matter how bad you got it, there's always someone worse off? Well I'm that someone.'

'Do you have anything that smells like wedding bells?'

"Shaving your head takes the guesswork out of going bald."

"I'm afraid I'm kind of a klutz."

'I adore a man of many parts.'

Snake Charmer

'I suppose you want to be served.' - 'No, but I wouldn't mind being included in the conversation.'

'I never know what to do with my hooves at a party.'

'Pretty confident, huh?'

"You are a very beauty woman. May I buy you a coke?"

"You know, Estella's pretty cool."

"What do I bring to the company? I'm relentlessly cheerful and able to handle pressure."

"Beats hanging around the water cooler."

"Do you play?"

"I thought you said his name was Mr Know-it-all?"

"The nice thing about being a fruit fly is you only have to listen to one news cycle."

Magic Trick

"What would your super-power be?"

"Do you reject guys like me here often?"

"Carmen, how are you today? Wait! Don't tell me! You're as wonderful and as beautiful and charming as ever!"