Over-catering Enthusiast Gifts

Plenty Of Fiesta Wear, But No Fiesta

"Stephen and I are today's special."

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

Next time, a larger tip for the server and less free tax advice.

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

'He doesn't ask for a menu... he asks for an estimate!'

"I can't go much longer without your asking why I'm vegan."

'Hey, pal... do you have a wine that tastes like beer?'

"Well I wouldn't eat it, but don't let that put you off."

"Anything but milk and cookies."

"Waiter, this is the worst meal I've ever tasted. And believe me, I've eaten some crap!"

'Take one of these diet pills every time you regain consciousness.'

"We'll start with the appetizer, move on to the entree, and then finish up with dessert."

"Can I tell you about a few items that aren't on the menu?"

'I'll give you a bite of my calamari for one of your stuffed shrimp.'

Am Awful Crammer.

"You and your daft inventions."

'I don't have enough money for a tip, but feel free to eat the leftovers!'

"We make substitutions within reason, Madame. We can give you courgettes instead of the aubergine, but we cannot provide Jean-Louis Trintignant in place of your husband."

'It feels warm enough to me.'

'A HAMBURGER?.. really?.. I took you for the WEENIE type!'

Waiter in resturant sawing violin.

Steam from dinner in restaurant forms dollar sign

Pizza with Extra Extra Cheese.

'You don't have to drive around. We bring the food to your table.'

'This is fantastic! I don't know what's smaller, the talk or the food?'

"Are we ‘still working’? No, we’re still eating. You, however, are ‘still working’—now get lost!"

"It's not your phone service... you're talking into a spring roll."

Saying Grace.

"I realize your steak was tough but you didn't have to make such a stink about it."

Lottery - come back to eat here 20 times and you will win million dollar in lottery.

"I will have the riesling, and a thimble of your best pinot noir for the little lady."