Catering Enthusiast Gifts

'Henderson, Sir - marketing.'

"Oh -- I've got one! If you could have dinner with anyone from history, living or dead, who would you have cater it?"

"And that makes 6! That should be enough to cater for the function tonight. . ."

'I sent out for everything.'

"Together ideas for couples" "Slap a sandwich together" "Put two and two together" "Pull themselves together" "Rub two sticks together" "Try to hold it together" "String a phrase together"

"Stephen and I are today's special."

Life is for the birds.

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

'A cheeky red?'

Domestic Goddess.

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

"Christmas drinks 'n' nibbles system"

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

'My diet's good...I'm two weeks ahead of schedule.'

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

'Er . . . and a fork for me...'

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

'You realize we're only having three people over...'

"I chose to stand up to special interest groups!"

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

"Which wine would you pair with the complimentary bread and butter?"

'He doesn't ask for a menu... he asks for an estimate!'

Man with 'Real Ale' written on t-shirt, woman with 'Real Pine' written on rolling pin

Health and Safety Gone Mad.

Elfian lady grilling on mushroom: 'Summertime in the Enchanted Forest'.

Next time, a larger tip for the server and less free tax advice.

"Hi, I'm Pop!"

"The recipe said to let the chicken rest after it comes out of the oven!"

"Tia Carmen's not happy unless she can send people away with a plate of leftovers for the road."

Party time.

"It's smells so good, but why do you have to wait so long?!"