Over-actor Gifts

Remote control pirate bully

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

They hated me.

"Just be yourself."

Benedict Cumberbatch

'Believing any filming experience may help launch acting careers, some even stage their appearances before closed circuit cameras.'

"I'll do the movie but I want to be highly compensated and highly acclaimed."

"God, I hope no one asks me to sing."

'They all want to play the star.'

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

'How are the ventriloquist lessons going?'

"Samson was the best actor in the bible - he brought the house down!"

'Hamlet'

"Welcome to Off-Off-Off Broadway."

"They've remained remarkably faithful to the text."

Comedy Cafe

Knight Golfing

'I guess it's not much consolation but I thought your impersonation of the King was a riot.'

"An actor, you say? Guess you caught the acting-like-a-waiter bug."

"Have you read any of Shakespeare's plays?"

Theatre Masks and Butts

"All our extras are ex-soccer players - they're the best at dramatically faking injuries."

Joan Hickson

"If it appears that I only act like I'm working, it's because I minored in Theater."

Theatre Crowd

'I was an egg in the Easter play.'

Canned laughter for sale in Theatrical Supplies shop.

Kid with 'Little Wellness Facilitator' kit

'Here's something that should suit your wooden acting style. How do you fancy playing the lead in Pinocchio?'

"You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? Then who the heck else are you talking... you talking to me?"

"I don't know if I can do 'Gilmore Girls' today. I'm not sure I'm feeling up for anything involving witty yet poignant repartee."