Oval Office Fan Gifts

'I know the Oval Office is in the West Wing. I wonder what mischief goes on in the East Wing?'

A paperwork machine spews endless paperwork

"Wrong window. I’m a sea lion. You need an otter."

"'Autonomy' is the new BUZZ word! We have to unleash our staff. Professionals like you need to be free to use your own judgement, manage your own workloads...use your initiative."

"Rumour has it that you're after my job."

"Julie...would you cancel my 4 o'clock please...?"

'The boss is just a carrier - he doesn't get panic attacks, he just gives panic attacks!'

'It's probably not a good sign to be listed in the organization chart underneath the office plants.'

'Mr. Bigmeister likes to start each meeting with the pledge of allegiance.'

"I'm sorry, but he's having his teeth filed to needle-sharp points. Can I take a message?"

Cubicles, Execs And Employees Growing More Similar To Bees

Caution - Men Working In Trees.

"Maxwell, you idiot! You mailed copies of your last letter to our entire contact list."

Obama's first 100 days in office.

"Cutting the budget is easy!...All you need to do is get rid of all that wasteful admin...what do they do!"

'Very impressive resume... new printer?'

Boss not listening, "I hear what your saying."

'Welcome aboard, Gridley ? this will be your desk.'

"I want you to treat this for what it is, Miss Garlands, a dirty weekend and not a step up the promotion ladder!"

'We relieved stress the old fashioned ways... slamming down a real telephone, stealing reams of carbon paper, sniffing white correction fluid...'

"... You have a cold?... So, does that make you an illegal eagle?"

'I'm Adolf the Brown Nosed reindeer. I'm Rudolf's boss.'

"I consider myself a responsible worker."

'How soon can you start?'

'He's the sort of person who asks, 'How are you?' and then looks bored when you tell him.'

I'm looking stuff up for diversity day. Anything good? Yeah. Americans are deeply into exploring racial understanding. How do we do that? According to my Google search, it's clearly

'It's my mobile home.'

"Office life was less stressful in my day. I could slam down phones, break pencils in a rage, stomp around yelling with a cigar in my mouth...!"

The goal posts need to be moved to net zero

'Yes, this is my home office. Why do you ask, honey?'

"The boss truly has an open door policy."

-I'm looking for a greenhouse. -I have just the thing for you.

'I know you had to give him a job because he's a relative, but I still think a Press Secretary should know how to read and write.'

Useless Eraser Inspector

'You just don't fit in here, Yomp! You're not a team player!'