Outlaw Stories Fan Gifts

'You're not from around these parts, are you stranger?'

"But he had a mask and I thought he was a burglar."

"Stop summoning me about rising sea levels. I do costumed supervillains staling jewels, men in beanies grabbing handbags - that sort of thing."

"Sure, while you went out robbing folks I stayed here and made a nice quiche, and just to prove I'm not a sissy I made it with mountain lion instead of ham."

"Puss in cement boots"

Cat Burglar

"'A body at rest'? -- Are you writing murder mysteries now, Isaac?"

'You shouldn't knock them back so quickly.'

Money laundering - shows money flowing out of US vault.

Bernard Madhoff $50-billion Ponzi financial scheme.

"I felt I could make more of a difference within the system."

Dorothy, the lion, and the scarecrow, are suddenly confronted by the tin man of Oz.

"It's nice to feel wanted though, isn't it?"

'This could be me and you, your honor. Heading for Las Vegas!'

The evidence destroyed

'Any ideas on motive?' 'Only one, Chief.'

"Don't make me send in the bad cat."

"Kid!! We know you're in there!!! Either come out or commence to fightin'!!!!"

'Mark Antony addreses the mob'

"This little piggy went to market, this little piggy drove the getaway car..."

PARALEGAL, 'Hi -- I'm a paracriminal.'

Cosa Nostradamus: "Listen, you mook. I predict if you don't pay the vig to the Don by tonight you'll be at the bottom of the Hudson by morning."

Moses as a mobster.

'We find the defendant guilty. I mean, why else would he go out and hire the best lawyer in town?'

"You ever get the feeling the posse's starting to lose focus?"

The growing problem of employee theft.

Mafia Nursery Rhymes - sorry Weazel, I'm gonna have to pop you.

'Hey, I made a hole in Juan.'

Sewee-Cide.

"Watch yourself Sheriff....Looks like Billy the Kid is back in town!"

'Don't feel so bad about this. I'll give you a receipt for tax purposes.'

"The big one dropped his weapon, but keep an eye on the little one. I think he's still armed."

"Can any of you draw? I'm thinking we should move into children's books."

"So, while extortion, racketeering, and murder may be bad acts, they don't make you a bad person."

Change of crime for a bored criminal