Outdoor Safety Cynic T-Shirts

'I hate to say I told you so, Larry, but that's why you check your car for bears before you put on your seatbelt.'

'It's great to get back to the simple life'

Winter Weather.

307 days without an accident.

"I packed the cooking gear like you told me, Dad...where do I plug it in?"

'Oh, I'm not looking for Gold, I'm checking for bear-traps...'

'Just stop for a minute. Smell that pine scent. Drink in the view. I don't think we could pick a better site for our 'Mega-Mall'!'

"I'm not going to hammer it in. You hammer it in."

Warning: this is a safe area.

Rules and procedure

Fall Rocks/Deer Crossing

Beware: Safe Area.

'All this 'elf and safety is taking the edge off sieges.'

Test dummies in car, "Oh my god dave, look out for that wall!"

Alberta on fire

"Never mind honey, I found the garage door opener."

'I fail to note the significance of rising sea levels here on the 39th floor.'

'I'll bet this would be more fun on a computer.'

Caution - Sign partly concealed by bush

The H.M.O. Expensive Care Unit: The we all have to go sometime ward.

'Oh it's quite a D.U.S.I.'

Forest Fire Hazard

Hell's first aid box...

"Aliens poked and experimented on me for 8 hours -- and there wasn't even a co-pay!"

"The DEC advises hikers to stand out by wearing bright orange. I feel so much safer now!"

"Our safety manual is nothing but a big joke."

"You do have health insurance....right?"

If the N.R.A. ran the D.O.T.

'Nature makes me nervous!'

'It scored first in everything except the rollover tests...'

Acme Discount Life Vests

'When do you guys plan to invent a crash test dummy?'

"Of course it's not safe. That's why I'm here."

"I don't think we've time for a risk-reward analysis."

'Oh, come on, they wouldn't sell it if it wasn't safe.'