Outdoor Living Aficionado Gifts

Shepherds washed their socks by night.

"He can't decide which one he likes best. . .His leaf blower, his weed wacker, or his metal detector."

"Ahhh... close enough."

Glastonbury. After.

"I can't believe how great my life is now: We used to live in an apartment, but now, I have my own garden..."

'My feet are killing me.'

"Maybe we should cut back on those lawn catalogues."

'Harold, when was the last time you cleaned the pool?!'

"Think you're pretty manly, eh? OK, put the gun down and let's have a fair fight."

On my list of outdoor pursuits I put skinny dipping way ahead of this.

Don't forget the hosepipe ban!

Bring your own inflatable.

'He just burst into my campsite, and broke my banjo!'

Allotment

Dog's kite's tail is wagging.

Fly Fishing

"It's such a lovely day!"

'I used to do that, but it just grows again.'

"You realize there’s probably an app for all this?!"

Duck Hunt

'More bubbles!'

It is best dealt with by the 'Pitch and Run Shot'.

Fishing sign.

When the world is Mud-luscious - e.e. cummings

I have an idea - Let's sit around the campfire and watch scary movies on our iPads!

I hate deer! What do you have to repel them? They're awful. I've got fences. Sprays. Decoys. Tree's Tree Nursery. I'll takes these. Anything to get rid of the varmints. Ring him up, Twig. I don't know why you are so down on deer. They've been very good to you! Anti-deer.

Warning, ski season abruptly ends here.

'I know that bird feeder is guaranteed to be squirrel-proof, but I still think they are getting in there.'

The Brothers Grime

Country Bumpkin.

"If I'd known we'd be this long wandering the wilderness I would never have worn these heels."

"Tallyho!"

"I don't remember it ever being this windy before."

'Camping is nature's way of promoting B&Bs.'

"Off my back and out of the sack. Let's unpack and have a snack!"