Otolaryngologist Gifts

"It's your ear, nose, and throat."

"It's a constant ringing in my ears. When I try to ignore it, they leave a message."

'Your hearing aid is on back order five months. In the meantime, pass these out to your family, friends and co-workers.'

'Actually, Mr. Van Gogh, we deal mostly with inner ear problems.'

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"By golly, your wife is right...you've got nothing between the ears!"

'I'm afraid I'm going to have to send you directly to an Ear, Nose and Beard Specialist

'How's the new hearing aid?'

'You are ear.'

"Relax. At your age, it's common to have a nose hare now and then."

Laryngologist

"Fortunately I hold the patent for the gene that's causing the ringing in your ears, and I can refer you to the doctor who holds the patent for the gene that's causing the pain in your ears."

'There's nothing wrong with your throat. Lot's of people have trouble swallowing their pride.'

'Your tonsils don't look good, but that's okay. Who's going to be looking at them?'

'Are you sure this conversation is confidential, doctor?'

"Are you sure you're here about your throat?"

Ear specialist uses sign to communicate with hearing impaired patient.

Ear, Nose & Throat. Head, Shoulders, Knees & Toes. (Published originally on December 22, 2010.)

"I'm going to stick a number of wet fingers in your ear. I want you to tell me how many."

"I said, you have a suppository in your ear so I think I know where your hearing aid is."

'Isn't that cute! They're thanking us.'

"Finches, don't look now, but there's a creepy guy staring at our beaks."

'A burp or a fart, I can excuse, but throwing up a pellet of fur and bones? That's gross dude!'

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

"Our war is against cancer."

Polluted geese

Sign in tree from bird "next appearance 3:00 pm"

"What I'd give for a stimulating conversation..."

'He's been like this ever since he had his laser eye treatment.'

"Sure my wings flap 70 times per second-- I've been sipping nectar all day."

"Thanks! Carl put his heart and soul into it, along with, of course, lots of mud and a boatload of his own saliva."

Express Barber Chair for Chemo Patients

'Son, it's time we had that little talk about ornithology and entomology.'

"Mating dance? Good luck with that. I couldn't even get my husband to do the chicken dance at our wedding."

"Happy birthday, dear. You still have that sparkle in your eyes!" "That sparkle burned out years ago. These are cataracts."