Ophthalmologist Gifts

'Good memory. Now turn around and let's try it again. I've put the chart on the opposite wall since your last visit.'

E-Y-E patients only.

'Even if everyone does say you're blind, sir, I still have to examine you myself.'

"E"

'Those work well. Now you hardly look anything like Superman.'

'No, it doesn't connect to an X-box!'

'In my opinion your blurred vision is caused by the axe in your head. But you may want a second opinion.'

'When you said this was an eye examination for Macular Degeneration, I didn't think you meant an actual exam!'

Concern had been expressed over some practitioners of 'laser eye surgery'.

'I'm sure that using this new sign we will triple the sales of eye glasses.'

'I'm getting old: I can still spot a rabbit a kilometre away, but I can't read the newspaper anymore...'

'Ha ha... Very funny!'

"My laser eye surgery was expensive but worth every penny."

'The smallest line I can read says 'Made In China'.'

'This retinal camera is great, but at the price you'd think they'd include a cup holder!'

'Wait! Wait a minute! Would you hold my glasses?'

Same Day Glasses - "They'll be ready in a month. It's not my fault you couldn't read the fine print."

'Will these glasses help him see things my way?'

"You have superior extra ocular muscle strength - how often do you roll your eyes at your husband?"

'So much for the 'Eye of the Tiger'.'

"Harry, the glaucoma machine needs adjusting again!"

'Well you're an eye doctor aren't you'

Fortune Teller and Ophthalmologists: 'See the Future' and 'See the Present.'

'No, Meester Bond... I expect it to cure your astigmatism'

Man reads subliminal message during eye test.

'...better or worse...better or worse...better or worse...'

"According to this test, your hindsight is 20-20."

'One letter at a time.'

'Pretty Good Laser Eye Surgery, Half the price, 2/3 the quality. You'll hardly notice the bit of blurriness that's left.'

No Parking. Violators will have their cataracts reinserted.

'Mr. Janus, your hand sight is far better than your fore sight.'

'They might look sexy and seductive but all I want to do is the crossword.'

"Why would I want to see anything that far away from my phone?"

Dr. Reynolds finally realizes what he puts his patients through as he and his wife look at paint swatches.

"No...still a bit foggy."