Eye Doctor Gifts

Board Reads: I Am An Insane Eye Doctor And I Am Going To...

'Good memory. Now turn around and let's try it again. I've put the chart on the opposite wall since your last visit.'

'Even if everyone does say you're blind, sir, I still have to examine you myself.'

I am an insane eye doctor and I am going to kill you now...

Santa Claus doing eye test, The chart has 'HO HO' on it instead of letters,

'You say you're having trouble seeing into the future'

',,,and she had the nerve to say I needed new glasses,'

'When you said this was an eye examination for Macular Degeneration, I didn't think you meant an actual exam!'

Old MacDonald Had An Optometrist

'Ha ha... Very funny!'

'I think your intraocular pressure is very high.'

'Wait! Wait a minute! Would you hold my glasses?'

"You have superior extra ocular muscle strength - how often do you roll your eyes at your husband?"

What makes you think I need my eyesight tested?

'So much for the 'Eye of the Tiger'.'

"Harry, the glaucoma machine needs adjusting again!"

Fortune Teller and Ophthalmologists: 'See the Future' and 'See the Present.'

'Well you're an eye doctor aren't you'

Man reads subliminal message during eye test.

'That's still blurry This might be a good time to show you your bill.'

'Sir, I think the cost may be somewhat higher than the quote I gave you, over the phone.'

'Pretty Good Laser Eye Surgery, Half the price, 2/3 the quality. You'll hardly notice the bit of blurriness that's left.'

"Your eyesight's fine. You just aren't paying attention."

'I'd like to buy a vowel.'

"According to this test, your hindsight is 20-20."

'One letter at a time.'

'Yes I can imagine it was frightening when you began seeing double.'

'Npotcz? I think it's one of those new government regulatory agencies.'

'Have your eyes ever been checked before?'

'That's the worst case of eye strain I have ever seen'

Milton cheats on his eye exam.

"Wrong, wrong, wrong and wrong. I'd like you to see another specialist. His office is closer to the eye chart."

"You really need bifocals. Then you can read the fine print and see the big picture, too."

'My lawyer will read the fine print.'

"I didn't realise this is what was meant by 'eye examination'"