Eye Doctor Gifts

Board Reads: I Am An Insane Eye Doctor And I Am Going To...

'Good memory. Now turn around and let's try it again. I've put the chart on the opposite wall since your last visit.'

'Even if everyone does say you're blind, sir, I still have to examine you myself.'

I am an insane eye doctor and I am going to kill you now...

'Your eyesight is only 20/400, but your insight is fantastic!'

Santa Claus doing eye test, The chart has 'HO HO' on it instead of letters,

'You say you're having trouble seeing into the future'

',,,and she had the nerve to say I needed new glasses,'

'When you said this was an eye examination for Macular Degeneration, I didn't think you meant an actual exam!'

Love is Blind.

'Ha ha... Very funny!'

Old MacDonald Had An Optometrist

'Wait! Wait a minute! Would you hold my glasses?'

'I think your intraocular pressure is very high.'

"You have superior extra ocular muscle strength - how often do you roll your eyes at your husband?"

'So much for the 'Eye of the Tiger'.'

What makes you think I need my eyesight tested?

'Well you're an eye doctor aren't you'

"Harry, the glaucoma machine needs adjusting again!"

Fortune Teller and Ophthalmologists: 'See the Future' and 'See the Present.'

'Sir, I think the cost may be somewhat higher than the quote I gave you, over the phone.'

'That's still blurry This might be a good time to show you your bill.'

'...better or worse...better or worse...better or worse...'

Man reads subliminal message during eye test.

'Pretty Good Laser Eye Surgery, Half the price, 2/3 the quality. You'll hardly notice the bit of blurriness that's left.'

'I'd like to buy a vowel.'

Pirate's Eye Chart.

'One letter at a time.'

'Good news. It's not pink eye or a pig sty...just mud in your eye.'

"According to this test, your hindsight is 20-20."

"Your eyesight's fine. You just aren't paying attention."

'Have your eyes ever been checked before?'

'Yes I can imagine it was frightening when you began seeing double.'

'Npotcz? I think it's one of those new government regulatory agencies.'

"You really need bifocals. Then you can read the fine print and see the big picture, too."