Ostrich Aficionado Gifts

"Welcome,everyone. It's lovely to see so many faces here this morning."

Ostriches put their head inside holes to watch sports on TV.

"That's it. We’re toast."

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

Something tells me it's not going to be a good school report!

"We've misjudged the tapas again."

Filling the Missile Gap

'Dinner will be ready soon -- the submarine sandwiches are soaking now.'

"The Knuckle Sandwich is good."

'How would you like your toast?'

'They are boneless, I didn't say anything about beaks.'

"A little lamb please."

'Sure, I could be independent, but it's so much nicer to allow myself to be spoiled rotten by Mistress...'

"Are you as excited as I am?"

'Take two asprin and stick your head in the the sand.'

Orville Wright, not sure he wants to eat airline food, brings a sandwich to his historic first flight.

'Fred,you've got to stop burying your head in the sand.'

'They ought to change the name of this deli to The Cramer - they get it wrong 50 of the time.'

'The lunch menu has sure picked up since they built the alfresco area.'

"We can address the underlying problems ... or ... you can keep your head in the sand."

'You're kinky, aren't you, Samuel?'

Law and Lunacy; Or, a Glorious Oyster Season for the Lawyers

Champagne and Oysters

"I recommend the pimento loaf with pickle. It's bursting with umami."

"I'm going across the street for a sandwich and coffee. Can I get you something?"

'Your French dip, sir.'

'First you feel shock, then anger, and finally remorse. It's the three stages of grief when buying the tuna sandwich.'

'Ms Phipps! Joey accidentally brought his grandmother's cream cheese and cucumber sandwich for lunch! Call 911!'

"Have I told you about the time I buried my head in the sand and struck oil?"

"Relax. I've come for your toaster."

Timmys Pet Ostrich

'Do you think he knows we're carrying beef sandwiches?'