Osteoporosis Gifts

"The answer to bone loss is to bury them deeper.'

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

They hated me.

Remote control pirate bully

Showbiz Awards

Benedict Cumberbatch

"Have you tried binge-watching a show together?"

"This is the perfect way to watch movies if you love mosquitoes and having a cold, wet butt."

"If I might be serious for a moment..."

A small snooker player chalking his cue.

Chase me, chase me cows.

Take seat. Nothing makes me happier than keeping people warm and cooking s'mores for them. Friendly fire.

Unforgettable, that's what you are... Gnat King Cole

'They all want to play the star.'

"We just watched a hypermovie!"

'Call for you on the cream corn line.'

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

Children disturbing a heart rate reading.

"Tommy!"

'Alas, poor Yorick, I knew you well. But dude, you're creeping me out, so I gotta un-friend you!'

"What sorcery be this? Thine castle is bouncy!"

'I was just playing rodeo and breaking horses.'

Champagne

Television Readers.

"I've seem an awful lot of movies ever since they cut them all down to two minutes."

'I play so hard that I have no time to work hard.'

A Guide to Balloon Animals

'My imaginary playmate can whip your imaginary playmate!'

The Rooster Comedian.

"Hi there! - I'm the world's first eco-friendly comedian... All My Jokes Are Recycled...!"

'I don't know what 'peer pressure' is, but it makes a GREAT excuse!'

'How do you like my two-tone car?'

C'mon, it'll be fun! I'll throw on some stars, pop in a few planets, drum up a life form or two, and this place will be hoppin'! The Big Shebang Theory.

Boy rolled into a snowball